Promises, Promises
by Alphaandomega1997Hardcore
Summary: Promises are beautiful... but they were made to be broken. Just like trust, hearts and almost perfect friendships. This is a human version not an anthro and it was completely improvised, I felt like writing something that wasn't about wolves for once but I think I did well please comment and give me tips.
1. Chapter 1

Chapter 1 – Promises, Promises

It was like a dream. It was perfect in almost every way. The way he laughed, the way he walked, the way he seemed almost too afraid to smile in public. Jordan was perfect.

I sat and watched him from across the room trying to image the things that would be travelling through his mind. Was he thinking the same as I? I doubted it.

He seemed a million miles away, lost in his own thoughts and to tell you the truth I wouldn't have minded being lost in there with him! A smile crept onto my face as I continued to watch. He looked up and I quickly averted my gaze, I felt my cheeks burn red hot with embarrassment. I bit my lip and looked back, he was looking at me now too smiling slightly. The light caught his electric blue eyes and I felt a cold shiver shoot like a rocket up through my spine. It was the usual reaction.

We held each other's gaze for a few moments before I looked away again bashfully. The bell rang and we stumbled out of class in a flurry of white shirts and black trousers. I waited in the hall for Anne to squeeze out, Jordan was next to step out into the hallway but this time I was invisible to him. I was almost to used to this reaction and I had now realized just how much I was beginning to HATE it!

I scoffed and slumped next to Anne off to our next class. I didn't need him and if he was going to treat me like that then I didn't want him either!

I was determined! This would be the end of my silly little crush and I could finally stop being so paranoid about Jordan not noticing me! I would no longer stand in front of the mirror and judge or fit his name into songs that found their way into my mind. It was over. Well, it was for a little while but just one glimpse of those stupid blue eyes sent me spiralling back into place.

For the first time in my life I was ready to take a risk. Anything just to get him off my mind! It simply couldn't be healthy for me to feel like this. Oh if only he knew me, like really knew me the way that I had come to know him so well.

But of course why would he want to get to know little old me? I had to face the facts and ignore the eyes… there was no future to be had with Jordan Kesslin and I. So, why couldn't I think straight when I saw him and why did butterflies ignite World War III in my stomach when he came near?


	2. Chapter 2

I sat alone in my room, hugging my legs tightly. Tears streamed down my face and fell on the blank page at my feet, the tears just wouldn't stop and I just didn't care. My heart jumped into my throat and it suddenly felt as though I had just dry-swallowed a horse tablet. More tears fell and less oxygen filled my lungs.

My phone beeped next to my leg. It was Anne. I swallowed again and frantically brushed the tears from my face before realizing that she wouldn't be able to see me through a text message. I picked up my phone with a trembling hand. _Hey watcha doin Rae? LOL that rhymed! _It read. That was so typically Anne. _Sniff. _Trust her to be so goddamn happy whilst I was sitting here bawling my eyes out over a guy. Still it wasn't her fault; I hid my pain pretty well at first. I mean, I wasn't about to let people think that I was one of those pathetic girls that cry and whine just because a guy ignored them! _Nothin' wat you up to? _I replied.

Her text message seemed to wake me from a coma and I soon realized just how silly my little '_episode' _would have looked to anyone else and quickly snapped out of it. _I know your upset but you seriously don't need to worry too much Rae! Maybe he's just shy! Think about it he may not be talking to you but you're not really talking to him either you know! _I was dumbfounded! How in the world did she know how upset I was?! But she did have a good point. I had been ignoring him just as much as he was ignoring me, most of the time it was because I was lost in my thoughts on how to get him to stop ignoring me. I smiled as I realized the incredible irony of the whole situation. _Your right I was thinkin' 'bout startin' a convo with him tomorrow only I can't think of anythin' to say! Help?_

Her reply came back as quick as lightning. _Say anything! Just say something talk about monkeys or microwaves! He'll talk back either way! _She was right I'll just go right up to him tomorrow and start talking! Maybe this whole thing could work out with Jordan after all.

The butterflies swarmed in my gut. A sure sign that Jordan was not far away. Just like clockwork he turned in front of me like I was non-existent. I shook my head, _why did I think this would work?_ I breathed a sigh and went on my way only to cross his path again and again. _Just talk to him. Talk to him! _"Hey Jordan?" I called. He turned with an unreadable expression upon his face. His eyes pierced through my soul and suddenly I was again insignificant. _What am I going to say!? _I smiled. That was all my body would allow me to do as I looked into his eyes.

I had always been able to understand a person through their eyes, with just one look I could explain their moods, hopes, dreams and ultimate personality but Jordan's eyes gave nothing away.

No words came to my mind and I soon realized that I had been staring into his eyes silently for the past ten minutes. I cleared my throat. "Uh… so I uh…" Ugh this was going nowhere; I was making myself out to be a complete idiot in front of him! Just then I spotted my opportunity for escape. A pen was sitting almost perfectly a metre or so behind Jordan. "I think you dropped your pen!" I said finally immediately turning my eyes to the ground. "Thanks but I don't think that's mine" He said with a smile. It was the first time he had smiled at me in weeks and I soon forgot about almost everything around me.

"So are you going to be playing soccer with us this afternoon?" I asked him like he was an old friend. I was calm and collected and I had the biggest smile on my face that seemed to stretch off both sides of my face. He smiled back. "Yeah just as long as I have you there to protect me!" With that we both broke out in a fit of laughter. You see it was a joke from last week. I was in one of those moods where I didn't care much about anything and really just wanted to have some fun, so I raced up to Jordan who, at the time, was guarding the goals. I darted in front of him screaming, "I'll protect you! I'll protect you!" That was a very interesting game, mainly because it took me about an hour to get over the initial embarrassment and of course for poor Jordan to stop laughing for long enough to see the ball coming!

The bell rang and we made our way of to our separate classes sporting huge smiles upon our faces. I had to bite my lip to stop myself from bursting out laughing on my way to class. I couldn't believe it was that easy just to talk to him. I didn't feel so insignificant and for the first time in a long time I was eager to get to the soccer field that afternoon just to see him again. Although I really don't think that he needed me to protect him today!


	3. Chapter 3

I sat silently, my hair draping over my closed eyes hiding them from the teacher's eagle-like view. Beethoven's Fur Elise played rhythmically through my mind as I lost myself deep within my dreams. In my dreams, things were beautiful, things just seemed to work perfectly and people seemed perfect. All of a sudden, ACDC blared through my head shattering the delicate notes of Fur Elise. I remained asleep and yet still shocked. I looked around my perfect world but found nothing… except…. Oh no! How did Jordan manage to find his way in here?! I mean I'm not going to deny it, I did think about him a little… Okay a lot but still he had a private part of my mind to stay in. In his part of my mind ACDC blared every second of every day shaking through the walls, It was non-stop awesomeness! And yes in that part of my mind awesomeness was most definitely a word!

He stopped and stared at me, his music still drowning out mine. Suddenly he had found his way into my perfect world but we all knew Jordan was not perfect. In fact he didn't even come close to it! He walked slowly towards me, his gaze firmly planted on my eyes. His eyes sent shivers up my spine even in my dreams! He stood next to me and Fur Elise notes began swarming around us again enclosing with it the rough notes and lyrics of ACDC. A purple light surrounded us both and the two very different styles of music combined into something beautiful. I closed my eyes and let the music and his warm touch carry me through my dreams. Everything was clear, everything was simple and finally everything just seemed to work.

"Rae", the voices trailed through my mind hazily, "Rae!" I remained at rest. Suddenly my body was thrown to the ground and I jolted awake. "Rae!" Anne screamed, "My God! It's time for our next class. Hurry because we're already late!" I looked around. I was on the floor of our History classroom. The last few people pushed past me on their way out, one of which was Jordan. I smiled and picked myself up. _Goodness I hope I didn't just commentate that dream!_ I thought. In fact what was that dream about? Jordan invading my perfect world? A mixture of our interests? What in the world could that mean? Jordan smiled as he left the room shaking his head slightly.

"Anne?" I said " Did…Uh I talk in my sleep?" Her lips curled into a smile, "No but you started humming something weird under your breath. Seriously what goes on in your head nowadays?" She laughed and kept walking on. _If only she knew._

I smoothed the dress over my bulging stomach and tried to make it look a little less obvious. I let out I sigh as I realized that no amount of breathing in and walking tall would make that gut move. "I wish I could go to the formal in a pair of jeans!" I called to my mum in the next room. She bounded in as quick as lightning. "Oh my goodness! Rae you look stunning! I am so proud of you!" I shook my head what was there to be proud of?

I wriggled out of my dress and slipped on my jeans and footy shirt. Much better. I grabbed my phone and read through my messages from the night before. _So…you gonna ask him? _It was Sue my other best friend and currently my boss on all things Jordan. Her newest order was to ask him along to the formal with me and take millions of photos with him and I mean MILLIONS! I'm not going to deny it though I really would have liked to go with him and have a souvenir photo but deep down I knew what his reaction would be and I couldn't handle that. Not from Jordan.

In just a few hours though I would have to get a photo taken with him and I had to make it absolutely perfect. Maybe that way I may just have a shot at getting his attention! I promised Sue that I would take a photo with him and my promises were never broken. Butterflies swarmed in my stomach and I suddenly felt physically ill. I denied myself breakfast and marched out the door to the bus stop. The walk to the bus stop would have usually taken me about 5 minutes but today I stopped at almost every bush ready for my butterflies to attack again! Why was I doing this to myself! It wasn't Jordan doing it anymore it was just me. This was my fault.

My mind was a blur on the bus ride in to school. It was filled with theories on how to ask him for a photo and how I would live with myself when he said no. The thoughts stayed with me right in to the first period of school. Anne and I were greeted by Jordan as we were coming in to class, "Let me guess," he said, "You guys are leaving soon too?" We nodded "Yeah we're getting our make-up done ready for tonight!" Anne said excitedly and as usual I stood back invisible to his eyes. But he smiled at me anyway before we were ordered inside by our teachers.

The morning was filled with activities and much to my excitement I was placed in a group with Jordan. I stuffed almost every action up and made a complete fool of myself but strangely no-one commented. Maybe today was going to be a pretty good day? Maybe.

Anne and I left soon after lunch and wandered down the street to get 'beautified' I was not a make-up wearer and I hated the stuff being on my face! Every one is going to think I'm a fake I thought. Even Jordan will think it! But I did look nice even if I did look fake I must admit. We went to Sammy's place and commented on each other's outfits for the night, Anne was wearing a beautiful long green dress that suited her perfectly and Sammy was always going to be the stand-out as she pulled out her beautiful hand-made tux! It was just like her to be individual that's what I loved so much about her!

Once I was home my butterflies made it almost impossible to eat and so just to keep them happy, I didn't. Thoughts still circled my head with images of Jordan laughing in my face and his friends whispering about how pathetic I was thinking I had a chance with him. But all of a sudden I decided that the butterflies had had enough limelight! It was my turn to have the upper hand and I was going to have fun tonight no matter what happened!


	4. Chapter 4

At the park everyone was dressed so beautifully ready to have their photos taken. The girls were all dresses in brightly coloured dresses and the guy I must say looked very smart in their suits! One guy in particular caught my eye almost instantly and he did look very cute in his black suit and top hat and oddly enough, he was wearing a blue tie that strangely matched my blue dress! Great that will be an awesome excuse to steal a photo with him! I smiled and my butterflies fluttered away. Our little group of friends marched around together getting photos with everyone we met and then I realized that my turn was finally here. "Hey are any of you wearing a blue tie?!" I yelled to Jordan's group. His friends turned and his face was red as he was pushed forward. "Look like you're enjoying it!" I giggled. In my head I realized how stupid that would have sounded and hung my head with shame. Oh my god why would I say that! But Jordan just laughed it off and strutted back to his friends once the photo was taken. My mum shook her head. "You silly girl! You were looking down when I took the photo!" I wanted to run back over to him and ask for another photo but the butterflies were back and my courage wouldn't be able to pull me through it all over again!

We continued to travel around to different groups getting photos taken with all of our friends and friends of their friends. It didn't matter if we were close friends or not we were all just happy to be there with each other. We made our way to the club where the dinner was being held. Anne and I were travelling in an awesome green monaro and lapped the street for everyone to see. In the car Anne told me something that was sure to ruin my night instantly. She had seen my mother talking to Jordan's mum and worse still she had heard my mother tell her just how much I liked her son! How could she! My own mother had ruined what could have been a great night for me! Once at the club my butterflies were back stronger than ever when I saw Jordan pull up in his parent's car. He travelled here with them they would have told him everything! I thought.

I spend a moment in the bathroom trying to sort out how to handle the situation but no ideas came to mind straight away. Maybe he doesn't know, maybe his parents didn't say anything. Eventually I decided that I would stick to my original decision and just have fun. If he already knew then there was no point worrying about it because I knew that I wouldn't ever make him forget what he knew.

I walked out of the bathroom and joined Sue on the dance floor. Out of the corner of my eye I could see Jordan on the dance floor too, he looked so clueless! Dancing was clearly not a regular hobby for him! Sue and I continued to move along to the music when again out of the corner of my eye I saw Jordan and his friends running towards us. Suddenly Jordan flung his hat from his head and sat it on mine. My heart sank. He knew. And what was worse was the fact that now this cruel hat thing was a way of making fun of me because of how I felt. Jordan Kesslin was not the type of guy that I would expect to do this!

So far my night seemed like it couldn't end quick enough. After Jordan's cruel move I felt hurt and completely stupid for ever thinking that things between us could work and not to mention the fact that my own mother had ruined my life in just one 5 minute conversation.

Just keep having fun I told myself. The worst has already happened It just has to get better. So I picked myself up again and moved onto the dance floor again with my friends. All of which had realized immediately that something with me was not right and stayed by my side for the entire night. We took our seats as the MC called out the 'awards' _tallest in the year, nicest of the year… _Soon it was over and all of the so called popular people decided that it was time to move onto the after party and left only a handful of people behind including Jordan and all of his friends snapping pictures of each other and _US!?_ Why were Jordan's friends taking photos of us?

Soon more and more people began to leave and soon we were left only with a small group of people. My friends and I and lucky for me Jordan's friends and him. I was determined not to miss a moment of anything that could happen between us. He owed me an explanation as to how he had turned into the kind of guy that made fun of girls that liked him.

I didn't get my explanation instead I got dragged into photo after photo after photo before we finally decided to take the party outside as we were left with six people. As we waited for our parents to come more and more people left and now we were left with just Anne, Jordan, Chris and I.

The boys laughed and joked along with us and went about their usual routine of showing off. It was then that I realized that Jordan actually remembered things about me. Maybe he did pay attention to the things I said! He remembered that I watched the same shows as what he did and just a few weeks ago he had remembered that I was an animal rights activist. Is it possible that maybe Jordan liked me a little bit too? It wasn't impossible.

The smile on my face would have given my secret away instantly if he hadn't already known. There were no butterflies in my gut and for once I was just having fun with him and his mate. Whilst I was busy paying attention to Jordan it was clear that Anne was enjoying Chris' company as well but that secret wasn't exactly new to me she had told me how she felt even before I started to feel things for Jordan but she kept her feelings to herself mostly much unlike me!

"Hey did you want me to send you some of these pictures from my phone?" Jordan asked. My heart stopped he asked me something without me having to say something first! I know to other people it doesn't sound like much but I had come to learn a lot about Jordan and the way her was around me and this was definitely not normal. "Yeah but you don't have my number" I pointed out, "Oh yeah!" he replied. There was silence as he looked back at his phone "well I guess I'll just put them on Facebook then" he said back. _Yeah but you haven't accepted my friends request yet so I won't be able to see them! _I felt like telling him but I resisted I already stuffed tonight up so I wasn't about to make it worse now! But why was he so determined to send me those photos? And why didn't I just give him my number! I shook my head oh well it's too late now I've missed my opportunity. And why would he give me another?

As our parents arrived and we each made our separate ways home I looked back on what had happened during the night. Was Jordan really making fun of me or did he still not know how I felt? Maybe Sue was right and maybe he did feel something towards me as well? The last option seemed pretty unlikely but if it was true you certainly wouldn't hear me complaining! I was still smiling when I arrived home with the memories of our last conversation still firmly stuck in my mind.

Every time I closed my eyes I saw him smiling back at me and our special mixture of Fur Elise and ACDC filled my mind and danced around the images of us. I promised Anne that I would spend the night with her and so I quickly grabbed some things together and made my way to her house. She had a smile that stretched right up to her ears as she told me that she had exchanged numbers with Chris. It was no surprise. I had always suspected that Chris had liked her back but she just wouldn't believe me.

We sat and talked about the night in Anne's bedroom. "Why didn't you give him your number!" she cursed "he left a hint and you just didn't seem to get it! What's wrong with you!?" I knew what she was talking about. How could I have missed something so obvious! Anne also insisted that Jordan had been flirting with me the whole night but I begged to differ! She reminded me that it was him that put his hat on my head and it was him that joined in our group n the dance floor. It was him who decided to show off in front of us and it was him that hinted for my number. And I missed every opportunity that he gave me! I felt so stupid that it wasn't until the next morning that I realized it… Jordan Kesslin was flirting! WITH ME!

He might actually like me back! All these butterflies could be swarming in his gut too! Perhaps he was ignoring me because he was shy because let's face it that is how I've been handling it! I never know what to say so I don't say anything at all I just smile! So it turns out that maybe a smile is all it takes!

Mum had gone out so I was left to do whatever I wanted to do! I slammed the on button of the radio and turned the volume right up. I danced and sang along to whatever song came on the radio and laughed and screamed when the presenters came on instead! How was this even possible! How could he have been flirting with me I was nothing special! Was I?

I raced to the computer and logged onto Facebook. He still hadn't confirmed me as a friend but I took the time to go through all of the photos from the night before and stumbled onto some interesting ego-boosters! The one of him and I in a pose didn't turn out all that well because like mum said I was looking down the whole time! But some individual ones of us showed off exactly what I love about him. His sense of humour, his eyes and his awesome smile. I swear in a few photos he even seemed to be looking in our direction! The smile on my face was like cement and would not be moved easily. I sent a message to Sue and Anne and was secretly hoping that whilst I was on Facebook Jordan would come on too and accept me so we could chat some more. I sent him a message too explaining how my mum had gotten a really good photo of him. I was hoping that he would ask to see it immediately but I received no response. Even better! This gave me an excuse to talk to him the next time I saw him and show him the photo personally!

If I could go back to the night before and change my response to his hints I guarantee that I would in an instant! But now I was left with a small feeling of dread, maybe come Monday he would go back to normal!

Something inside me clicked. No he wouldn't go back to ignoring me because now I had the upper hand! I would react to him as though I knew for sure that he liked me the same way that I liked him. Things are about to change!


	5. Chapter 5

Oh things were about to change alright! But definitely not for the better. It was Monday morning and my ego was at its highest. He likes me and I like him, it's so simple! I saw him in the distance; he seemed as relaxed as always unlike me! I was a big ball of excitement ready to burst at any given moment.

On the walk up to the bus stop that morning I had passed a small cluster of bright blue flowers and eagerly snatched one up whilst waiting for Anne. I carefully cradled it in my lap to school, not allowing anyone to touch it nor get too close! And that was when I saw Jordan. Flower in hand I bolted up to him. "Hey!" I called _Jeez Rae calm yourself girl!_ I cleared my throat ok so maybe I went a little overboard with that one. "Hey" he replied far less enthusiastic than me. "Um yeah so um I was just wondering I mean there's this movie on tomorrow night and well Anne and Chris are going to that school thing in Sydney and um….." he stared at me, shocked. Was it that strange that I was asking him out? I mean even he can't deny that he was flirting with me less than a week ago! "I was just thinking that we should go together you know since our friends get to have fun why shouldn't we right?" His expression stayed the same and it didn't seem like a response was heading my way anytime soon. He frustrated me and I had to really think about why I liked him so much. I couldn't think of a reason but I could feel it. If I wanted this to move on then I would have to bring out the 'big guns'. I drew the flower from my pocket. "If you come I will give you my flower! And to be honest I have grown quite attached to this little flower" I flashed him a smile I felt like I was just seconds away from begging when he replied. "Uh…thanks but you can keep it. It looks like it's very important to you" a smile crept onto his face which instantly made a smile on mine. "Uh I'm not sure about the movie though….I'll uh think about it ok?" my heart sank he'll _think _about it? More like he'll think of a way to get out of it.

I wandered back to Anne and Scott. Well at least I finally asked him out right? Even though I didn't get much of an answer.

That day passed again in a blur with Jordan being the only thing on my mind. Once I was home I jumped onto Facebook to send Jordan a message. My plan was to confess everything just lay everything down for him and let him decide what he wanted to do about it. But I was shocked to see that his name appeared in my inbox. _Sorry movie looks pretty boring._ And just like that – all thoughts of him ever being interested were destroyed and I was filled with rage. Not against him so much but more anger against myself. How could I put myself through this? AGAIN?!

With tears of rage swelling in my eyes a _bleep_ came from my computer. I looked up from the piece of paper I was destroying with my pen. It was Scott.

Scott and I had never been the closest of friends I mean we talked but only when we were in our group of friends. Outside that we barely knew each other. _Hey so what happened with Jordan?_ His message read. I let out a sigh. I would have to tell everyone know that I was rejected wow what a thrill. With tears still rolling down my cheeks I replied. _Nothing. Apparently I was wrong and spending time with me is 'boring'. _

_It's not_

_Trust me…_

He replied. That was one thing that I could be sure about was that no matter how insignificant I was to Jordan I would always mean something to my friends. Scott's comment made me realize that.

_Thanks Scott but to Jordan it's boring I am so sick of this rollercoaster he has got me on! How are things working out for you with Sarah?_

Sarah was the girl that Scott had been talking about for months! So I suppose he knew exactly what I was going through with Jordan.

My computer 'bleeped' again with his reply. _Yeah pretty much worked out the same as you. I guess im just not on her mind as much as she's on mine. You girls don't realize how crazy you make us!_

I scoffed if he thinks that guys have it bad try being a girl with a crush! It's like having a time bomb implanted in your skull, at any given moment it could blow and crush everything you've ever hoped for. Most of the time this happens when the guy gets a girlfriend and you realize that you most certainly are not on his mind.

_Hey! You guys don't know how good you have it! Us girls follow you around like lost puppies and you're the ones that get the power of leading us on! OMG! It's so cold tonight!_

The last comment was more to soften the message. Just in case he took it to heart and I stuffed something else up in my life!

_Tell me about it! Its warmer in my bedroom do you a have a phone? I'll txt you instead and you can go somewhere warmer._

I was starting to feel much better. I could do with an offload session tonight so I sent him my number and stumbled off to bed where I soon warmed up with the help of my electric blanket. No sooner was I in bed that my phone beeped with a message. From Scott.

Scott and I spent the entire night and half the morning texting each other. Our conversations dominated mainly by Jordan and Sarah. By the time I did actually get the chance to sleep we had covered almost every quality that we loved about our crushes. For me I loved Jordan's beautiful eyes and well a lot of things and as for Scott well he loved Sarah's laugh and the way she talked and pretty much everything as well.

It was a little strange hearing a guy talk about a girl so nicely. I had always thought that guys held the higher power and knew that they could control us girls so very well. But hearing Scott talk about Sarah soon changed my opinion. There was this whole new side to Scott and guys in general that I had never seen before.

The next day at school Scott and I didn't talk to each other much more than what we usually do but I was fine with that. I liked the idea of keeping my feelings about Jordan at least sort of secret and if we talked about it at school then my secret would be well and truly circling the school body within a few moments. But as soon as a logged onto Facebook I would find Scott there online ready for another chat and once it got too late or too cold to be on Facebook we turned to our text messages.

I liked that Scott and I were becoming better friends. We had learnt to pick each other up after a bad day with either Jordan or Sarah. We had learnt exactly what to say to make the other person feel better about their situations. Our late night chats went on for week's right up to Christmas time. Being new to town I was eager to investigate the well lit and decorated houses throughout the neighbourhood and so when Anne invited me out a few weeks before Christmas I was delighted and couldn't take her up on the offer quick enough.

Walking to Anne's house which was only a few streets away from mine was one of my favourite times. I had always felt safe in the night time and in the dark. I don't quite understand why. Even though its dark and its harder to see danger I suppose it worked both ways and danger can't see you either. But when I found myself being followed to Anne's place this particular night I started to panic. I wasn't familiar with the township just yet; despite moving here about 12 months ago. I walked faster practically jogging towards the safety of Anne's house. I saw the light from her mobile phone light up her face a few metres away. I breathed a sigh of relief.

"Hey" she said "we've just got to wait for Scott I invited him along too I hope that's ok?" I looked back down the road and sure enough there was Scott lumbering down the street towards us. I felt so silly now thinking that I was being followed by some crazy murderer or something! It seemed so outrageous now.


	6. Chapter 6

We wandered around the town for what seemed like forever but in true fact we had only been walking for a couple of hours. Walking up and down each street, desperately scanning the rows of houses for brightly flashing lights and tinsel. But it appeared we had come too early in the month and no lights were out just yet.

Instead the three of us ventured to the local park talking about whatever came to mind and considering we were all crushing it was our crushes that came up most in conversation. "Jordan's an idiot!" snapped Scott. I couldn't understand people that thought of Jordan like that. I mean I know he spent a lot of time ignoring me and sending me mixed messages but I still loved a lot of things about him. He was a really nice guy and was incredibly funny. It just seemed that other people didn't see these wonderful things.

I jumped to Jordan's defence, "No he's not!" _oh yeah that was an excellent come back Rae! _The tension eased and we changed the subject.

After wandering town with no success for about 3 hours we decided to call it a night and walked Anne home. Her house was closest I suppose. Scott lived in the street between Anne and me and so we continued our chat until we reached his street. "It's ok I'll walk you home, just in case you get lost or raped or something" Scott said with a laugh. Secretly I was relieved I was terrified to walk past the house on the corner alone and especially at night. The people that lived in the house were your typical 'bad news' I didn't trust them nor like them that much.

The tiny walk to take me home was packed with talk of Jordan. Scott for some reason didn't like him and insisted that he was an idiot. But why would I listen? Nothing I told myself about Jordan made me like him any less so why should anything Scott said change my feelings? Once home I dropped into bed. Although the night had been a ball of fun even without the lights I was tired beyond belief.

My eyes gently closed and I could feel myself drifting into a nice deep sleep. Once again fur Elise circled my brain and then ACDC joined in. But all of a sudden another sound shattered the notes. _Nickelback?_ I thought. I woke from my sleep and the music continued. It was my phone flashing and beeping away blaring out my favourite Nickelback song. I flipped it open and read the message

_Had heaps of fun tonight have to do it again soon hey? Sorry bout calln' Jordan an idiot he just doesn't know how good he has it. Scott_

I closed my phone and feel asleep again. I'll reply in the morning.

I flipped open my phone and re-read Scott's message from the night before. _How in the world am I supposed to respond to that?_ I considered a few different responses. But eventually decided on, _Thanks Scott but why would he care about how well he has it? I'm nothing special remember _I hit send and got dressed.

For the rest of the day my phone remained silent _good that proved my point!_ I thought to myself. But as soon as I logged on to Facebook there it was, waiting for me. An inbox from Scott.

It was long and full of spelling and grammar mistakes but the actual words were unexpected. He told me that I was an amazing friend and that I deserved so much more than Jordan could give me. I was glad I had a friend like Scott to pick me up when I was down. I suppose he was returning the favour only a little more so. He hadn't talked about Sarah in a long time so I assumed he was at a low point. I didn't pry too much into it just in case it upset him.

After that our late night conversations seemed nothing more than a distant memory. In all honesty I really did miss them. I missed the pick-me-ups after a bad day and I missed having a guy actually care about my feelings. Even if he was obliged to say it because he was my friend.

Logging onto Facebook my heart sank as I realised once again that he was not online and my inbox was empty still. _Did I do something wrong?_ I thought. I could see that he had commented on other friends' status' but for some reason he was ignoring me. How could he go from talking to me every night about absolutely everything to all of a sudden drop of the face of the earth?

And then I saw it. The thing that drove the knife deeper in my chest. Scott had changed his relationship status. It wasn't that I was jealous in fact I was ecstatic for him but why didn't he tell me? He used to tell me everything! And what ever happened to Sarah? Only two weeks ago he was declaring his love for her and saying how beautiful she was. But what was she now? She certainly wasn't his girlfriend!

He had commented on his 'girlfriend's' status only moments before and so I took my opportunity. I had to get him talking; I had to find out what I had done wrong! _Hey where have you been lately I haven't talked to you in ages! _I wrote. I didn't receive a reply from Scott instead a response came from Emma, his girlfriend.

_He's been with me most of the time lately! 3_

It seemed so strange seeing that written and even stranger seeing it with that little heart next to it. How did this happen? Why didn't he tell me? This is a big thing that has happened for him and it was him that had said just a week ago that we were 'real close' it didn't seem like it now.

_That's awesome! I'm so happy for you guys! _I lied I wasn't happy at all. I was hurt. I had been pushed aside completely and he couldn't even be bothered to tell me that there was someone special in his life. I wasn't trying to be nosey at all it just came as a shock. I mean I go from hearing everything going on in his life to hearing well...nothing!

I pried further. _So when did this happen?_ I wanted to know more about why I had been shunned. I honestly couldn't think of anything that I had done wrong. And then I saw Scott's name flash up on my page. He had left a comment.

_Stop being so nosey Rae! This isn't any of your business and you could have just asked me you didn't have to go and ask my friends instead!_

I was crushed. I wasn't being nosey! And as far as I knew if you wanted something to stay private you didn't put it up on a social networking site! We exchanged comments over and over but it seemed as though we were going nowhere and with each comment I felt more hurt. I left the office in tears and went to bed. But I couldn't sleep.

_What had I done wrong?_

I guess we were both hurt. We didn't speak to each other for quite a while. I wanted to know what I had done wrong and Scott wanted nothing to do with me it seemed. I didn't care. He had hurt me more than he could ever understand. He made me think that he cared before completely shattering that idea.

To everyone else it seemed that I was overacting but they didn't know what had really gone on between us. They hadn't seen all the messages exchanged between us. They just didn't know.

Brooke's birthday party was coming up soon and I was looking forward to it that was until my fight with Scott. We had both been invited and knowing that Brooke would be drunk within the first hour we expected to be spending most of the night together. I liked that idea, it meant I got to talk about Jordan more, plus I liked talking to Scott it was different then talking to girls with bias opinions.

But now Scott and I would sit at opposite ends of the room and stumble through the night making awkward conversations. It sounded torturous. I decided to end it. Even though I was hurt and I don't think I would be able to completely let it go in a short amount of time it was time to admit my fault. Holding my feelings back would be far easier than going to that party filled with dread and awkwardness.

Scott logged onto Facebook _perfect_ I thought. I took a deep breath and clicked on his name to start a chat. _Hey_ I wrote nervously. Silently begging that he was going to respond quickly. Would he want to solve this whole thing too? I could only hope.

Five minutes passed, he was still online but still there was no response. I refreshed my page but still nothing. I wrote more _please I really want to sort this out. Can we just forget this ever happened?_

His response flashed up quicker than I expected, _sure_. That was a very short response. Is he serious? Or is he still mad at me? I decided to find out, _so are we good then?_ This was the point that I started to really panic. What if he said no? What if our friendship was never the same again? My computer beeped.

_Yeah Rae we are_.


	7. Chapter 7

Brooke's party was set up perfectly. The music was set on a mix tape and catered to everyone; the drinks were very much the same. I sat with Brooke waiting for everyone to arrive making gentle conversation and marvelling at her beautiful dress. People soon started arriving including Scott and just like we predicted Brooke was drunk within an hour. I began talking to Scott since Brooke was pretty incoherent. Things weren't the same between us. I must have really stuffed this friendship up; I just wish I knew what I had done wrong!

Soon Scott started drinking three drinks to my one and before long he had lost the ability to walk straight. He laughed and giggled at the smallest of things from the cat in the corner grooming itself to the music being loud. He had no idea what he was doing. He mumbled under his breath something about Jordan. _Most likely something about him being an idiot _I thought.

"You know" I started "you always call Jordan an idiot but..." Scott turned to look at me "But you never say _why_ he's such an idiot. How would you even know?" Scott looked back at the drink in his hand closely examining its every contour. "He's an idiot because..." Scott looked up at me, "because he's not with you"

I was shocked! What?! _He's an idiot because he's not with me? What kind of reason is that? _I shook my head "I don't believe that" I said to him. And I didn't how could he expect me to believe such trash? But I suppose he _was_ drunk after all.

But that pathetic little comment was far from the worst I would hear that night.

As the night went on, the music got louder, the tension got lighter and Scott got drunker. His comments getting more and more strange and pathetic. Why do guys insist on doing this to girls?! They take us on an emotional rollercoaster and just love to watch us suffer! Like with Jordan, one day he makes me think that there is a chance for us to work out together and then the next day I'm dirt again.

And even though the situation with Scott wasn't quite the same he was still doing the same thing to me. One day we're close and the next he's ready to rip out my throat. This is ridiculous.

Eventually I got sick of hearing Scott talk and was getting frustrated by what he was saying. Apart from the fact that he was insulting Jordan he was also insulting me, _I'm an idiot for giving him my time of day _and _he's an idiot for not going out with me _blah blah BLAH! I grabbed my bag to leave.

Scott followed me to the front of the house whilst I waited for my ride home. He sang drunkenly next to me. And again started with his 'he's an idiot' routine. I couldn't stand it anymore, I snapped.

"What the hell is wrong with you Scott?!" I yelled "one minute you're calling me a close friend and the next I'm nosey give it a few weeks and I'm back to a close friend again!" whilst I was yelling and ranting I didn't breathe, my mind was racing with all sorts of things to abuse him for and my mouth was obeying. He hung his head._ What is the point of this_ I thought _he's probably so drunk he thinks I'm Santa Claus!_ But I continued my rant more for my benefit to get things off my mind.

Tears swelled in my eyes but I needed to ask one last question, "what did I do wrong Scott?" with this he looked up; his bloodshot eyes also beginning to tear up _oh god! _I thought _I've made the guy cry! How pathetic! I should just leave now to save him the act. _I forced myself to stay. I needed to hear his answer.

"You looked right past me" he said softly. His drunk slurred speech now sad but clear. I stood confused trying to figure out what he meant. "You spent all this time talking about Jordan! Not once did you ever realise that I was there all along and I was the one that gave a crap! Not Jordan"

I was still trying to absorb what had just happened when the car pulled up. I took one last look back at my friend. How could I have done that to him and not known. While I was preoccupied in waiting for Jordan I never thought that maybe someone was waiting for me. I certainly didn't expect the person to be such a close friend. I certainly didn't expect Scott.

I didn't tell Anne or Sue what had happened between Scott and I there was really no need to. I think Sue had worked it out a little and Anne probably did too. To them the situation probably sounded stupid. But I know that they will find out eventually anyway, there is only so long that you can keep something like that to yourself.

Well that was a little while back now. And things have certainly changed. I realised that it was stupid to keep waiting for Jordan; if he really liked me like Sue kept saying then he would make something happen. He shouldn't need me to keep waiting. Scott and I have never been as close as we were before the fight but at least we're still friends. We still talk but not so much about Jordan anymore.

When Jordan passes me in the corridor or sits near me in classes I still get butterflies but now I think I have learnt to suffocate them and hide them away. It's probably a huge shock to Jordan to see me actually relax around him! Things have certainly been easier without him on my mind all the time.

One thing that I have learnt through this whole experience is that you need to look around constantly. I was too focused on Jordan to truly see Scott, not that I would have acted on it but at least I wouldn't have made him feel so bad. But Scott, well he was smart and he managed to focus on me as well as look around and find Emma. I was too focused on the waves in the distance that I missed the one carrying me all along. And for that I am sorry.

So you would think that with this experience I'd have an easy ride with relationships from here on in huh?

Well... Promises, promises


End file.
